my new years resolution is to do better in school and keep spencer happy while still being myself. this is gonna be good, so stay tuned.
my new kindle touch that i had gotten from my dad and step mom was freaking out on me this afternoon. the screen wouldn't stop turning on and off and it was starting to freak me out. it was scary and i thought i was gonna start crying when i found out that if i were to ask a question online to a tech person, it would set me back 30$ that i didnt have... yippee!!! but i went with a hunch i had and held the power button for 5 seconds. the screen went white. i presses it again and the number lock code thingy that i have to press the 4 number code into. i held my breath and my heart sank when Ms. Kindle decided that she wasnt ready to wake up from her nap and started blinking slowly again. this was my last chance, i held the button for 1...2...3...4...5... maybe a bit longer?...6...7...8...9...10... and i let go. i set Kindle down on the table as it processed the information. the trademark tree appeared and it loaded my amazon account... thank god for hunches!
i only have 1 class with spencer, EXCITING!!! and im not even joking! the past 2 trimesters ive been at this school... i havent had any classes with him, but now i have one and its study hall :) so excited! i enjoy listening to him and his friends talk... even if it is about architecture... <3
though i cant say what i want to say because i cant even start to put it into words... what i can say is that im getting tired of the same thing over and over again. gails house used to be my favorite place to be but... now its becoming more and more like a prison. everything has to be done to perfection and if its not, you have to do it again. i mean i get it. i get that things need to be done. but we have got to have fun to! i cant go from having fun with spencer and laughing at his little cousins when they amuse us... to "you cant do this, you cant do that". everything is so uptight there... when i go to spencers house... well when i just hanging out with spencer and not planning anything with his mom... it can go from the most fun that ive ever had to a painful expirience within seconds, id rather have that then a "do this, do that, theres a good reason" type of thing. i mean, dont get me wrong, i do adore gail and her kids can be fun sometimes... but there is a point where i just cant be in a rut! and at her house its just one big rut... and i end up feeling like i should be in a hole, sitting there doing nothing instead of trying to be happy.
ive been wanting an appointment with my doctor to update my depression pills. it feels like im going into that same thing that i was in just before i started the pills... not good. wish me luck!
but in the mean time, i will spend as much time doing things that make me happy and stay away from the things that dont. this should get good...
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