funeral for the worst but a promise kept for now

today was my Great Grandfathers best friends birthday. i went along to support my grandpa, to make him feel better. after the service, me and my Grandpa (the one from Oregon) went to get my Nana at her mothers house. but what he said to me as we left... "well, that's about what papas funeral is going to look like". it got to me and i couldn't stop crying the rest of the day. i cant think about life without him... without his love and generosity. without him to hug when i'm feeling upset. hes always been there for me and as i watch all these people that i knew when i was young, friends of my grandfathers, slowly die off... i want to scream and cry and kick things... i don't want my great grandfather to die, i don't want to loose the person i love and look up to the most in this life. i would do anything for him. [cuss word] i would step in front of a bullet for him. at the reception thing, after we went to the grave, we stayed most of the time, had lunch. but papa wasnt there. none of us could figure out why he wouldnt be there. so dad and grandpa went to look for him. we thought maybe he got in an accident.. or had a heart attack (God forbid both) but when i called my dad from the reception thing, he just found him and he had been going in the opposite direction from where he was supposed to be. we thought he might have gotten comfused or something. but when we got to him, he had just been at Bill's (his now passed friend) wifes house for a different reception thing. for a few minutes my heart had beaten so fast that i thought it might beat its way up through my mouth... i thought that maybe alzheimer's was taking root... maybe i wouldnt have my great grandfather for much longer... but when i found out the reason... my heart swelled and i was about to pass out because i was so relieved. i cant wait to see my papa next... and the time after that and the time after that... forever. when i was younger he had promised to stay alive for my wedding... i have a feeling that he might just keep that promise...