Saturday, November 12, 2011
funeral for the worst but a promise kept for now
today was my Great Grandfathers best friends birthday. i went along to support my grandpa, to make him feel better. after the service, me and my Grandpa (the one from Oregon) went to get my Nana at her mothers house. but what he said to me as we left... "well, that's about what papas funeral is going to look like". it got to me and i couldn't stop crying the rest of the day. i cant think about life without him... without his love and generosity. without him to hug when i'm feeling upset. hes always been there for me and as i watch all these people that i knew when i was young, friends of my grandfathers, slowly die off... i want to scream and cry and kick things... i don't want my great grandfather to die, i don't want to loose the person i love and look up to the most in this life. i would do anything for him. [cuss word] i would step in front of a bullet for him. at the reception thing, after we went to the grave, we stayed most of the time, had lunch. but papa wasnt there. none of us could figure out why he wouldnt be there. so dad and grandpa went to look for him. we thought maybe he got in an accident.. or had a heart attack (God forbid both) but when i called my dad from the reception thing, he just found him and he had been going in the opposite direction from where he was supposed to be. we thought he might have gotten comfused or something. but when we got to him, he had just been at Bill's (his now passed friend) wifes house for a different reception thing. for a few minutes my heart had beaten so fast that i thought it might beat its way up through my mouth... i thought that maybe alzheimer's was taking root... maybe i wouldnt have my great grandfather for much longer... but when i found out the reason... my heart swelled and i was about to pass out because i was so relieved. i cant wait to see my papa next... and the time after that and the time after that... forever. when i was younger he had promised to stay alive for my wedding... i have a feeling that he might just keep that promise...
Monday, November 7, 2011
katchup
the Dance 2 Fridays past... was INCREDIBLE! i actually danced and it felt amazing. Spencer and i danced together and his friends taught us how to Swing Dance... though he isn't lifting my over his head and swinging me from side to side... he and i got the spinning and dipping part together :) after the dance, his dad came to get us to take me home.
the next morning, my step-mother, Gail, and i went to pick Spencer up and she took us to his grandpas house in Athol. later that night, we walked to his Aunts house for an Autumn Party. we ate dinner, then had a... church thing where Spencer's Uncle read from the Bible. we carved pumpkins and had a pinata. it took 4 rounds of 8 people to break it open and when all the candy fell out... it was all powder. it was GREAT!
church 2 Sundays ago, last Sunday. it was okay. i must say that it was a little odd but i did like it for the most part. the only thing that i thought was weird was when we got down on our knees and prayed. but it was good. i had to wear a skirt and i did like that. Spencer said that he liked me in skirts, not because of something... er... sexual. but because that's how he was brought up. it would have been better if we didn't have to get down on our knees. i have nothing against it but i feel like that's not... ladylike. i was raised to stay off the floor, and then they are asking us to get on our knees to pray... that's for just before bedtime.
then that Monday... it was Halloween, i asked my family friend Dan, Bashful Dan on 102.3 fm radio, to go Trick or Treating with me. we were Hanging Out... he wasn't Chaperoning us! anyway... i managed to get a lot of candy that i lost within 2 days. i had a great time with Dan and i really hope to do that again. hes like a dad to me and i wish i could do something for him to show him that i really do love him! he's like... my best friend
last Thursday, we went to Memorial Park, waiting for his mother and my papa. we played on the swings and went down the slides, then i screamed when a spider dropped down in front of me. Spencer grabbed it and chased me around the park. he caught up to me... attempted to spin me around by pushing my shoulder. he failed. i spun around, slid on the semi wet grass, hit my shoulder on his knee, hit my head on his knee, hit my shoulder on the ground and finally hit my head on the ground. i had a headache for 3 days. and i now have a bump on my head. but after i stopped feeling dizzy, we walked over to the ticket booth of the football field. just before we sat down i reached for my earrings like i always do... and one is missing... i took the other one out and showed him. he guess what was wrong right away... but there was nothing he could do. (or so i thought) so i sighed and dropped the one earring. i stepped on it as i walked by. Spencer didn't fallow me as i sat down on the concrete. eh picked up the earring before he kinda... turned in a circle, before coming to sit by me. a time passed, then my Papa pulled up. we both stood up and he turned around saying "hold on, don't move". he turns around again to face me with both hands out and he asks, "what would you really like to see in my hands right now?" i shook my head and he shows me both of my earrings. i had asked him how he found it... he replied with "its just romance babe". i continue to say that i have the best Boyfriend in the World...
this last Friday, i had brought some tea from home. i had cooking class so i set my cup down on the counter to wash my hands and put on an apron. i come back and its gone... the cup had mysteriously jumped to the other counter and was now empty. i was sad. the tea actually tasted good! then after class i see Spencer. he comes up to me and guess what he pulls out of his backpack... A TEA! but not just a tea... it was my FAVORITE tea!!! it made me so happy! except when i had to pee 20 times that day... i was a big TEA...
yesterday was our 1 month anniversary. isn't it exciting? he had me come over to his house for dinner... when we got there, we watched tv for about 3 minutes then the Steaks were done... we went to sit down and as we walked around the corner to the table... candles lit the table. we had Steak, Baked Potato and Carrots with Green Beans... it was Super Good!!! i had so much fun! (Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!!)
so my friend Liz ran away from home on Thursday. she didn't come to school. but she showed up today and took off again. at least shes still alive but with the activities that shes doing... that might change a little to soon.
Come home Liz, you've got people who love you. Stop making the wrong decisions. You need to grow up and deal with all that your going through like the adult that you think you are. Please, Liz, your family is worried.
the next morning, my step-mother, Gail, and i went to pick Spencer up and she took us to his grandpas house in Athol. later that night, we walked to his Aunts house for an Autumn Party. we ate dinner, then had a... church thing where Spencer's Uncle read from the Bible. we carved pumpkins and had a pinata. it took 4 rounds of 8 people to break it open and when all the candy fell out... it was all powder. it was GREAT!
church 2 Sundays ago, last Sunday. it was okay. i must say that it was a little odd but i did like it for the most part. the only thing that i thought was weird was when we got down on our knees and prayed. but it was good. i had to wear a skirt and i did like that. Spencer said that he liked me in skirts, not because of something... er... sexual. but because that's how he was brought up. it would have been better if we didn't have to get down on our knees. i have nothing against it but i feel like that's not... ladylike. i was raised to stay off the floor, and then they are asking us to get on our knees to pray... that's for just before bedtime.
then that Monday... it was Halloween, i asked my family friend Dan, Bashful Dan on 102.3 fm radio, to go Trick or Treating with me. we were Hanging Out... he wasn't Chaperoning us! anyway... i managed to get a lot of candy that i lost within 2 days. i had a great time with Dan and i really hope to do that again. hes like a dad to me and i wish i could do something for him to show him that i really do love him! he's like... my best friend
last Thursday, we went to Memorial Park, waiting for his mother and my papa. we played on the swings and went down the slides, then i screamed when a spider dropped down in front of me. Spencer grabbed it and chased me around the park. he caught up to me... attempted to spin me around by pushing my shoulder. he failed. i spun around, slid on the semi wet grass, hit my shoulder on his knee, hit my head on his knee, hit my shoulder on the ground and finally hit my head on the ground. i had a headache for 3 days. and i now have a bump on my head. but after i stopped feeling dizzy, we walked over to the ticket booth of the football field. just before we sat down i reached for my earrings like i always do... and one is missing... i took the other one out and showed him. he guess what was wrong right away... but there was nothing he could do. (or so i thought) so i sighed and dropped the one earring. i stepped on it as i walked by. Spencer didn't fallow me as i sat down on the concrete. eh picked up the earring before he kinda... turned in a circle, before coming to sit by me. a time passed, then my Papa pulled up. we both stood up and he turned around saying "hold on, don't move". he turns around again to face me with both hands out and he asks, "what would you really like to see in my hands right now?" i shook my head and he shows me both of my earrings. i had asked him how he found it... he replied with "its just romance babe". i continue to say that i have the best Boyfriend in the World...
this last Friday, i had brought some tea from home. i had cooking class so i set my cup down on the counter to wash my hands and put on an apron. i come back and its gone... the cup had mysteriously jumped to the other counter and was now empty. i was sad. the tea actually tasted good! then after class i see Spencer. he comes up to me and guess what he pulls out of his backpack... A TEA! but not just a tea... it was my FAVORITE tea!!! it made me so happy! except when i had to pee 20 times that day... i was a big TEA...
yesterday was our 1 month anniversary. isn't it exciting? he had me come over to his house for dinner... when we got there, we watched tv for about 3 minutes then the Steaks were done... we went to sit down and as we walked around the corner to the table... candles lit the table. we had Steak, Baked Potato and Carrots with Green Beans... it was Super Good!!! i had so much fun! (Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!!)
so my friend Liz ran away from home on Thursday. she didn't come to school. but she showed up today and took off again. at least shes still alive but with the activities that shes doing... that might change a little to soon.
Come home Liz, you've got people who love you. Stop making the wrong decisions. You need to grow up and deal with all that your going through like the adult that you think you are. Please, Liz, your family is worried.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
sorry
i will have pics of the friday night dance up later and tell you all about my weekend and monday night later... when im aloud to get on the computer... stupid grades!
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