Beauty of Technology

Are you a photographer? Can you see the beauty in a space? Can you really capture that beauty? Can you capture beauty in a photograph that you cant normally see outside the picture?

recently I was at my great grandmothers. I had stopped by with my Nana to try to get her to come out to the barbecue at my house, and eventually she said yes... but while I was there, I saw something that I would have seen in an art show. I grabbed my iPod--I didn't have my camera with me--and I took as many pictures as I could, but I couldn't quite get it. I didnt understand why! The camera just didnt get the actual feeling that I felt towards this small space.

It was a fake rose in a small vase, but it was the atmosphere that really got me thinking. It made me feel like I wanted to be at my (speaking of the future and my future home) house sipping a cup of hot coco by the fire. The gentle light from the setting sun coming through the drapes.

This picture and feeling got me thinking; you can capture true beauty in a photograph, you can capture the essence of a feeling, but to be there is so much more. And as I look back on my photos I think that I wasnt even close. I'm sure that if I had the right camera I could be a little better, but it was at my moms. Photo shop to the rescue.

before photo shop

and this is a lot more of what i saw... but i can quite get it right....

Easter Sunday

easter sunday...

i dont really know what to say... ive never really been a true christian. but here are a series of events that lead to one of the greatest moments in my life...

1)papa got sick last night and went to bed early. a regular thing but still quite difficult not to break into tears and yell at him for getting old... i love my papa so much that it made me angry that he was using his years up.
2)in the morning (this morning) papa told us that he wasnt going to go to church with us because he was afraid that he was going to get sick again. so he decided to sit at home and read the bible and learn how chocolate was made and how they got eggs from the chickens.
3)papa gave me $10 to give to the church; to put in the dropbox.

4)when we got to church there were so many people... but one stood out the most. she had short brown hair and was wearing a long blue dress that had hawaiian looking flowers down to the floor. she was one of the singers. so when she was singing... she would throw her head back and Worship. she wasnt one of the other girls that seemed to want to just look pretty and sound pretty... she didnt do a solo... she was just there. the most glorious girl in the world. and she was worshiping God and proclaiming it to the world.

5)i read what was up on the big screen....

 ¹ Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. ² So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”³ So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. ⁴ Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. ⁵ He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. ⁶ Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, ⁷ as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. ⁸ Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (John 20:1-8)

 the last word was my favorite... shivers down my back. goose bumps on my arms... and even now as i type this... butterflies in my stomach.

At the end of the service, the preacher asked if, during the next song, that if anyone would like to come stand in the front. to pray with him and receive God and be absolved of any and all sins. i sat there and listened to the music. i prayed for papa as best as i could like he asked me to. and i prayed for an answer, a sign as to whether i should stay seated and just believe that i believe... or go up to the front. not 30 seconds later i started crying. tears rolling down my  cheeks like the crocodiles themselves. i hid my face in Spencers arm... but after a couple seconds i realized... that i wasnt crying for papa. i wasnt crying because i was upset about something... i was crying because i was afraid i would miss the chance to stand up in front of everybody and claim my love for Him. i stood up and grabbed Spencers had and took him up to the huge alter where 20+ people had gathered. the preacher threw up his arms and prayed for all of us. i wasnt listening to the words of the prayer though... i was listening to God. i was hearing all that he wanted from me... from us. and i was with the one i love and the family that i loved. i swore to myself and to Him that i would try so much harder to talk to him more often and to be a better person. the time i was up there in my boyfriends arms... it was so powerful! one of the most amazing moments in my life... accepting God into my heart and soul. 

water play

you know what i like about water? how when you throw a stone into it its always going to splash no matter how big. its always going to move the same way its always moved; it can change other things but i cant change itself. its always going to be refreshing when you drink it. that's what i like; that feeling of home when i splash into the water the first swim of the year. i love the rush, the bubbles, how the icy chill of winters past caresses my skin every time... i miss it during the winter and i enjoy every second i can during the summer. the refreshing relief when you've been sitting out on the dock sun tanning.... and when im flying over the beautiful blue... on a jet ski. incredible! you have got to try it. take a deep breath of the summer air and just. be. there. dont let the world control what you see and dont see. if its there its visible... even the light of God; in every sparkle cast by the sun shows Him.

even in my papas eyes. 

i know its been a while...

im sitting in my us history class. todd's bein' a poop and not letting me go into holly's room to finish painting the timeline for his class. but oh well. i can get it done in study lab. but thats not why im blogging....

for my birthday, my aunt and uncle left a pink paper bag on the table... i wish i could have seen them but thats ok. ill get to see them all soon. but in the bag was a really nice sweater. almost exactly the same one im always complimenting aunt lisa on. also a silver necklace with 3 charms, one of which says be brave on one side and love life on the other. and in the bottom of the bag was a book. it was a cream leather... and it had little shells pressed into it. i read the title... and thought of that story about god and that man... the one about how he saw only one pair of footprints? and gods all like, "well thats because i carried you!" thats one of my favorite storries. and i remember telling my aunt about that....
     i tried to thank her when i got it but i had to just leave a message and the rest of the night i was with my friend tina. but since then, ive just felt like i did thank her but i really didnt. and i just wanted to appologize publicly...


aunt Lisa, uncle JD and all the kids between,
im sorry for not thanking you right away. i realize now that it wasnt very kind of me. i really do apreciate the fact that you thought of me on my birthday. thank you for the sweater, necklace and book. i adore them all. 


im wearing this sweater now, its the most comfotable piece of clothing thats ever been on my body and i LOVE it! also the fact that it makes me feel like im as important as my aunt lisa.



I LOVE YOU McElroy's!!!! THANK YOU

my wonderful birthday weekend

so amazing...
incredible...
i have no words to explain how awesome this weekend was.

tomorrow is my birthday and im turning 16... but i didnt get to have my bday party thing until next weekend cause james wanted to have his party on my weekend. not on purpose i hope. but still. its just... annoying! so i went to spencers house. little did i know... there was a surprise party waiting for me at my new favorite restaurant; The Country Boy in Athol. i walked into the room and guess what was there... pilar, buster, and spencers 2 little cousins ready to eat. oh so amazing! i loved it! i almost started crying! i mean, first surprize party ever and i get to spend it with my one and only and his family! how awesome is that!!! pilar got me a wonderful gold necklace shaped like a key but instead of teeth it says 16. and spencer... my spencer got me a silver charm bracelet with a single charm, it was a little silver heart that says 'sweet 16'. then he leaves and im wondering... what is he doing? i was to hug up on him for a while! but when he walks back in the door i see that he has something in his hand... its a little case. he gives it to me and says "here, this is the best part". i take it from him thinking if he got me a nose trimmer.... as i open it i see a flat line and i think if its an iPad ima kick his butt... it wasnt an iPad. it was a laptop. omg my boyfriend bought me a laptop. so exciting!!!!!!

spencer has got me into Minecraft now... fun right? well kinda. i find it interesting and i really want to learn more about it.

the next day i went to Pita Pit for lunch with my family; Mom Dad Michael and Ashley. pitas are awesome lol but i dont think im ever going to eat chicken from a fast food place again... we talked about our new favorite bands and how our favorite band before broke up. we talked about how i can be a n00b sometimes and we talked about our favorite restaurants. all small talk but we laughed a lot and smiled a lot. it was fun. mike and ashley got me a pair of pajamas and mom got me a gold heart necklace.

but when i got home... there was something there... dad told me on the way back that it was his and mine; that if hes not using it then i can. i was instantly curious. we went around the next corner and shadow looked like he had a new blanket on. didnt think anything of it untildad showed me our present. a horse. he got us a horse... omg... so incredible!!!

and here i am now. thankful that i just have my family. i cant wait til i can find the words to explain how much they all mean to me without it seeming like im trying to please them for giving me something... not that thats a bad thing *wink, wink*

horoscope thing

this is really cool:) You are 15 years and 359 days old You were born on Tuesdayon a cold winter’s day You were born: 5838 days ago You were born: 192 months ago You were born: 834 weeks ago Your next birthday is in: 6 days Your Chinese zodiac sign: Pig Your zodiac sign : Aquarius Your element : Air Your planet: Saturn and Uranus Your colour: Midnight blue Your stone: Amethyst Your birth number 2

The meaning of your birth number

You don’t have a natural inclination for decision making. Your calm, peaceful and diplomatic disposition makes you more suited to following than leading. You have a strong sense of intuition and are very patient. You adore a peaceful life and don’t always welcome change with open arms http://www.miniportale.com/horoscope/Date_of_birth/risultatien.asp

to spencer and whoever else cares to know how pissed i am

sitting here with my lonely cuties orange... spencer had to shoot his aunts dog last night because it attacked their miniature horse. now since annie has died i havent wanted to hear about dead dogs... or dead animals... or dead anything, because i always think of the dog ive had since i was 5. when spencer and i were talking last night i had made it clear that i didnt want to know about all of this stuff. but this morning, he decided to tell me details. i dont want to hear about how he had blood all over his arms and how he didnt think the dogs head exploded but it felt like it. and goddamnit i liked that god! i didnt want to hear about how he died! it really pisses me off when i have to listen to things like that! let alone from my boyfriend!